While I strongly believe that joy is always within reach, I have my fair (and unfair) share of bad days. Some bad days are I-accidentally-put-an-unsealed-travel-mug-in-my-gym-bag-and-now-my-gym-clothes-are-SOAKED-in-precious-caffeine-and-I-took-the-overcrowded-bus-to-the-gym-for-nothing kind of bad. Other bad days are oh-past-trauma-resurfacing-and-anxiety-stopping-by-for-an-unannounced-visit kind of bad.
Life is not always kind. Life is not always fair. Some days, a smile feels impossible. But, as long as we are alive, I believe it is possible to keep moving forward.
If you’re having a tough day or going through a difficult season, I hope you find some comfort in my words. When I feel blue, I make it my mission to be extra kind to myself. This is easier said than done, but the following ten things always help me feel better (even if just a teeny, tiny bit):
Ten Things I Do When I Feel Blue
I take a moment to remind myself, “This is temporary.”
This helps so much. There’s something about reminding myself that I won’t always feel this way that really shifts something. It’s a way of greeting my negative emotions with hope. I know I will feel better. I know that this tough moment will be over. I take power back from whatever tough situation or circumstance I’m going through by assuring myself that it will not last forever.
I take deep breaths and repeat the word “release” to myself.
I learned this technique from Brendon Burchard. It is also a practice in line with my meditations on the Calm app. Breathing with a specific thought or intention in mind is a real game-changer. When I feel blue, I do my best to honor and understand my grief but, ultimately, my main goal is to let it go. I want to feel better. So, by taking big, deep breaths and repeating the word “release”, I calm down. I feel like I’m actually letting my sadness go.I pray.
Ideally, I will do this the moment I start feeling sad. I’m still working on reminding myself to turn my troubles to God as soon as possible. But sometimes when something happens or a tough memory resurfaces, I don’t pray until after I’ve gone through the previous exercises. When I pray, I remind myself that many things are outside of my control. I ask God for guidance and strength. I also give thanks for small, good things that remain in the midst of difficulties.I spend time outside—especially if it’s sunny!
If you know anything about me, it should be that sunshine is more precious to me than coffee. Spending time under the sun’s warmth makes me feel so good. I can’t fully enjoy sunshine when I’m inside so I have to get myself up and out to truly enjoy its power. This can be really hard when I feel low on energy, but I’ve found that being outside gives me more energy. When I go for a walk or spend some time basking in the sun, I feel way better than I do when I’m in bed (no matter how warm and cozy my covers feel).I drink water and eat something that will bless my body.
Over the holidays, I told one of my best friends, “One day, I thought was sad, but really, I was just dehydrated!” *refills water bottle* It’s true! So now, I do my best to be even more intentional about drinking water when I’m feeling down. I also try to eat something that’s good for me (like a green smoothie or a hearty salad).I journal.
I write down how I’m feeling, why I might feel this way, and what I think I can do to feel better. Putting my feelings down on paper is therapeutic. Sometimes, it feels like I am transferring my emotions directly onto the pages. I always feel so much better after I write down what is going on.I listen to my “Feel Better” Spotify playlist.
I have a list of songs that always make me feel better. Music is incredibly powerful! I curated this playlist on a really good day as a way to prepare for a bad day. This playlist is as valuable to me as any other emergency preparedness kit. (My brain is like: Ooooo, yes! On repeat and full volume, for full-effect, please!)I watch something fun.
An episode (or a few) of “The Office”, “Parks and Rec”, "Grace and Frankie” or “The Simpsons” will usually distract me and cheer me up. (Just thinking about my favorite characters is making me smile!)I shower and change into clothes I love. Whether it’s the start of the day, the middle of the day, or the end of the day, I will take a shower if I’m feeling down. Showers are so soothing! Aside from feeling like I’m washing away whatever I have going on, it’s very comforting. (Team hot shower over here, by the way!) I also like to change into clothes that make me feel happy: a cute outfit if it’s still early or the coziest pajamas if it’s the end of the day.
I reach out to someone I love.
I often hesitate to share my struggles but I’ve learned that letting someone I love and trust know what’s going on, really helps. I’ll usually ask if they’re free to meet for coffee or a meal so that we can talk. Other times, I just say “Hey, I’m having a tough time and would really appreciate your company.” Tough moments can make us feel alone, but there is always at least one person readily available to listen and help.
What do you do when you’re feeling blue? If you’re feeling blue right now, I encourage you to try at least one thing from my list. I pray that you feel better soon. Sending you lots of love, light, and strength.
Con cariño,
Jenesis
Important: If you’re going through an especially difficult time and feel like you don’t have the support you need, consider the following resources:
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: Mental Health Sources
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741